So Nervous

This post was written and was very vague. So I decided to delete it.

And leave it at that.

I'm super excited for tomorrow. Sublet time.
I can't believe this is happening...

:-)

Frank and Robert

So last night I had work. I was covering for Jay, because he picked up a shift of mine that was during my midterm yesterday. Nothing happened at work. Nothing. Except for the fact that Chris proofread my letter-of-intent (thank god). But pretty much, nothing happend. Nothing.

And that's a problem.

I need to get the Frank 1 position. I just wouldn't be able to take Robert 1. First of all, the hours are horrendous: 1830-0245. Seriously. I would not be able to do well in school working that shift. I also feel so confined on the hill. Man, I want Frank 1.

It actually feels really weird right now, because Alyssa, a really good friend of mine is going for the same position. And I HONESTLY want her to succeed -- I think she would make a n excellent supervisor. But really, I want both of us to succeed. Ideally, I would want both of us to get Frank 1 promotions, but with certain other people applying, I'm not sure how feasible that is. Actually, I think we're the best, and I'm sure a lot of supervisors would agree.... but what matters is how management sees it. I just can't fuck up my interview. Let's see -- there are three places opening up since Eric, Matt, and Adarsh are leaving Frank 1... but Mike is switching from Robert to Frank.... so that leaves two places. It could be possible. Who knows?

I'm going to go to the station now to drop of my letter.... Oh! I think it's payday! Sweet! Haha. I still haven't deposited the check I got from 2 weeks ago.

Yay.

Damn.

That bitch was hard.

Oh well. Graduate school, shmaduate school.

:-(


I'm sure the final will be easier.

Right?

:-I

AHHH!
:-O

:-)

So much to do this week. Looking forward to it.

30 more minutes

well.... almost time for my o-chem midterm. I've carmmed so much into my head, and am pretty proud of myself. I swear to god, if only I put TIME into more things, people would see that I'm a fucking genius. It amazes me how quickly I've learned to pick things up; it doesn't really take that much practice. But aha! A flaw! I usually don't practice at all... *sigh*

At least it gives me hope for a future.

But yeah. So I studied really hard last night, today too. A jesus Christ... so many people called my in the last 3 hours, it's ridiculous. It's so annoying. They were all people I didn't want to talk to.... some of which called mutliple times, contiuing to dial my number as a wrong number for whom they really wanted to call. Seriously.

Things are coming along nicely though. I'm checking out a highly-likey (um...let's say for sure) sublet this Thursday just to make sure that it's reasonable. I'm meeting my professor tomorrow. I'll be going on my Field Study quarter to some place in central america in the spring.... continuing to tutor (although sadly, I won't be able to do it this week). I'm really enjoying myself here. Finally, I've met some cool people that I like, and who don't bore me. Last year, it was so difficult. Finally, freedom. I can actually HANG OUT with them. Wow. Now, that may not seem like much, but to me it really is; to be able to hang out consistently witha group of friends is something that I haven't been able to do with anyone but those from SD. I like it.

I'm applying to be a supervisor at work. I hope I get it. All of the supervisors are making me apply. I seem to have a strong backing of support, especially be the fact that so many were suprised (as well as appalled) that I didn't receive the Field Training Officer promotion. Bastards. Lol. No worries, I totally changed my mind about doing it after my interview. But supervisor: man, that would be nice. I think I can do it too. Come on. I'm smart. I have good problem-solving skills. I know how it all works. We'll see though. Also, we totally need a female supe in there. Geez. We've got no one. Alyssa is goign for it too. I hope we both make it. Haha. I'd be in charge of the entire campus security system. Does that scare you? Oh man, I shouldn't write things like this for when they do my background check again.... I wonder if they do it again.

I WOULD BE AN AWESOME SUPERVISOR. SERIOUSLY. COMPETANCY AND CONFIDENCE. THAT'S WHAT YOU NEED. THAT'S WHAT I GOT.

There. They'll see that. The truth you know.

Well, I'm going to head up to my test room.

Wish me luck.

Bask in the Awesomeness

Wow.
This is so great.
I think I've found a sublet for the summer, as well as the perfect person to share a room with.

I'm looking forward to wednesday when I talk to Professor Pires about research over the summer. It would be freakin' awesome if I could get something hooked up with her. I like her a lot.

I have this HUGE midterm tomorrow in O-chem. You know, I've been studying for it steadily for awhile now, and haven't had any problems; however, why is it that now, the day before the midterm, everything just seems so much more DIFFICULT. AHH. Oh well. I'm probably going to stay up a good part of the night studying. I also have a good chunk of time in my day tomorrow to cram my mind before the test. Lot's of coffee tonight.

It's so odd to think that I'm still having midterms when most of my friends (all of them outside of UCLA actually) are out of school and enjoying summer. Haha... well why the fuck do I have a midterm during 9th week? Who DOES that to their students? Douche. lol. Not really. Actually, it's fine. I'd rather have it now than say, last week. Although, this week was amazingly unproductive though wonderfully sunny. It's funny; I'm sure you could find a direct correlation between my grades and the weather. How could I possibly study during a sunny day? Those were mean't to be enjoyed. Haha. THAT mentallity is the reason med-school is no longer a go; I shouldn't want to enjoy anything but studying. That's definetely not me.

So yeah, everything is great here in LA. I'm loving it. Althought I'm terrified for this test tomorrow. Spectroscopy has been hit-or-miss for me. Right now, I'm relying too heavily on luck to help me pass this exam. I need to get a B. That's all I want. Oh Lord. :-) I'm not a stresser though. I'll just be doing problems for God knows how long.... well, until the test tomorrow. I'm thinking about ditching my first class tomorrow, but I'm probably just going to space out during it.... space out into the realm of O-chem that is.... NMR, X-ray, protons, fragmentation, Infrared.... those are all spacey things.

Ok. I should go back to studying. *sigh* I can't distract myself for too long. Why is it so much easier to entertain myself with the internet when I'm supposed to be doing something else??

Shout outs:
Peter: hi!
Laura: Yay! I'm sure you didn't fail out of your classes!
Eric: WTF are you? :-)

C-S-OH NO!

Today was our CSO annual picnic. Fun.... lot's of good food (home-made ice cream too).... games (football, frisbee, CTF[no x])

and of course... awards.

Yes. You my friends are witness to the Female CSO of The Year.

:-)

That makes me so incredibly happy.

Haha. ok, so after the picnic, we decide to hit up Sunset Rec for so pool action. That was a lot of fun. Anyways, afterwards a group of us dry off, we're just hitting the volleyball around, and suddenly it starts rolling towards the pool. I go after it, minding my step (you're not supposed to run at the pool's edge you know). So I go towards it, but it rolls into the pool. I however, have WAY too much forward momentum....

Justin says, "Don't fall in the pool!"

At that moment, that momentum is realized. And seriously, it was like in the movies..... arms flailing and all.... hahaha. It was great. I was so happy that I had dried off, and then I was just soaked again... my clothes... everything..

lol. It was great though. It really was hilarious.

What an excellent afternoon. And now I get to meet a mysterious fellow named Kyle, whom I've been hearing so much about these last few months.

Veggies

Took my midterm todayl; I think it went pretty well.

Man, I was so full of energy half an hour ago, and now I just feel EXHAUSTED.

I was in a really good mood today.
Must continue vegging.

... I Just Can't Hide It

Midterm tomorrow. Blows. I'll be studying for about an hour tonight before I hit the sack. Bed. You know.

I really have a hard time with "sayings." I almost always take them literally.
On Friday, I was supposed to start my shift at work, but had to wait for Matt to come back. Anyways, we call him, because it seems like he's late. He comes back and says, "Sorry, I totally lost track of time; I was completely out to lunch." To which I replied "WHAT? What do you mean you were on a lunch break during a 2 horus shift?!" He laughed. He thought I was kidding around, but I seriously didn't catch on. Lol. I think I'm just slow. I take things so literally now.

Today was a busy day, but really good. Lots of productivity at Anderson.... where Justin was conveniently on shift. :-) Nice to break monotany of studying with some side-adventures.

Last night I went over to Jay's place. Finally gave him the CDs I had promised him about a month ago. We hung out with a few people. Played beer pong, which doesn't appeal to me that much there in terms of the drinking because it's a dirty frat house, and the beer was... questionable. :-) I just helped Jay out. We were Team " 'Lost' Fucking Sucks Cock." Oh, and we won. It was a good time. I didn't really drink. Wasn't all that in the mood for it considering how much we partied at Eric's on Friday... haha. Boy, that night was full of a couple of suprises.

Oh man, I'm so happy: I ended up finding a sublet -- FINALLY. Before, NO ONE was returning my emails, and finally I just sent a request over the CSO list serve, and got some legit replies.... one of which sounds awesome. Sylvia is subleting her place for $430/month.... dammmnnn.... I hadn't been able to find anything less than $550... but those were the people who weren't getting back to me. That's going to be nice too; right on 408 Landfair.

But yeah, pretty much, life is good. What can I say? I'm finding myself (boy, has it been difficult), and I'm finding other people.

:-)

Is it wrong to get myself so excited?
It's so damn easy when someone else is just as excited about it as you are.

Life is Good

It was my mom's birthday today. She had been in Pepperdine this last week to attend a course, and today was her last day. So convinient! We got to spend some time together. A REALLY good brunch at this french bakery in Westwood, and just a general spending-time-together theme. Adorable: with Marcin and I both going to UCLA now, I made her buy a piece of UCLA gear -- she looked so cute in her grey zip-up sweater. It was nice to see her again. It feels as thought I never see my parents anymore.... I don't like the space inbetween visits to be as long as they have been. It's not a whole "I miss them thing" -- wait, does that sound mean? I'm an independant person and don't really feel the need to always be around them; it's just that every time I see them... they just seem a little bit older. Especially my dad. I see it more in his eyes. My mom is always a bundle of cuteness and energy, but I still see a little bit of it in her once-in-a-while.

*sigh* I'm a little upset. I had to make a wise academic decision... damnit. Why do I always do that? Haha. Yeah. Not going to Topanga tomorrow. *sigh* that's ok. Fuck, I practiced hard though. Oh well... my number was 13... couldn't have been that lucky there anyways.

Stupid midterm.

I don't think it would have been such a big deal if I didn't want to work for my professor over the summer. I'm no longer an attractive undergraduate researcher after I fail the midterm/class.

Damnit.

It was a fun week; so many birthdays (2, really) and just a general good time starting on Friday. So I guess more of a fun week END. Justin's 20. Yay! I'm no longer dating a teenager! haha. jk. I didn't even notice. AAAEEeeeEEE! *sigh*

AHH! NO SMILING!

Last night, Eric had a BBQ. It was a good time. Things always get interesting. It seems like everyone's getting together/hooking up.... I don't know what's up. It's cute, and entertaining... and oh so disappointing when the blinds are shut and we're all standing at the outside window trying to look in.... :-)

You know who is reaaaalllly damn good? Sufjan Stevens. If you have not discovered him, discover him NOW. Wonderful. If you don't have any of his music, I will SEND you it.

I've been so happy lately. It's so great. Haha. It's interesting to look at past entries, and see how much my emotions have fluctuated. I was so down back then... it's so nice to feel happy again, and to really begin figuring out what I want to to with my life. I know my major, I know my minor... and though I'm not 100% of my career path, I know what I want to TRY to study after undergrad. There's two "realistic" (haha... I hate that word) things I'm looking into. 1.) Teaching. I love tutoring kids... though I know that I would want to work with older kids (HS or college... meaning either graduate studies in education, or getting a PHD, respectively... I would just need to see how far I want to take my education)... and 2.) *sigh* Art. I know I'm definetely going to send a portfolio to gradutate Art programs. I'm still drawing, and when I go back to SD, I paint again. I'll be bringing up my stuff to LA over the summer so I can paint more, and I'm going to learn Illustrator to the smallest detail.

Whoa. It was weird jsut now, because I suddenly had the feeling that I wasn't wearing any pants... which I'm not (wearing a skirt) but you get the idea.

I had talked to my dad about those options, and I was happy to see that he was supportive of all of them. he figured if I'm willing to put the amount of work necessary to get into a good art school, then I'm good enough/have the drive to succeed... and it shows that that's what I really want to do.

Happiness.

Wow. Could I ever be a successful artist without feeling like shit? I don't think I'm ever going to stop loving my life now.

But hell, we all have demons, and we all see those of others.

I'm going to be going to Vancouver and driving to Calgary. Sweet.

I want summer to come... but finals... oh finals.... stay away!

A Quick Comment

I would just like to say that Justin Bell is frickin' awesome.

:-)

There is nothing else left to say.
Dancing was fun. I never had someone say that I was good.
Well, he WAS drinking.


No, it was a great night.

I really really like him, and everything is excellent.

Justin Bell.... hmm.... how nice.

Catch Up

ok, super busy this last week or so that I haven't been able to write. And so much has been going on, it's been crazy.

I had work tonight. Oh, I'm so glad I worked because the business school had a shmoozing event and they always have the BEST CATERING EVER. I swear to God, it's so good. And so me and Jay and his randomn friends Cody went and ate left over food with the caterers and took home all of these awesome desserts. Oh, and might I mention that mini latkas with caviar ... excellent.

So much dessert. Oh god, we ate so much. All of my hard work... the biking, the protein bars, the good diet... GONE GONE GONE in a horrible mist of indulgence and gluttony!

It was worth it.

Anyways, I have class in 6 hours. Holy shit.

Oh, and by reading this, you are so raspberried. It's on.

terminal

So I saw a guy die today.