Kneed to Work Out

So. My midterm fun begins in a couple hours. I'm skipping a class right now to ...well... "study." *sigh* I seem to be doing a good job, aren't I?

I ran into some friends yesterday that I hadn't seen in awhile. Ok, I run into Russell all of the time, but I haven't talked to April, since, well... a very long time ago. Like maybe a year. It was a nice break from studying to just sit with them and talk for 20 minutes over coffee.

Something's been wrong with my knee lately... more than usual. Sometimes it hurts so bad that I cant even walk on it without cringing. Both of them are bad, but the left one sucks hard. I had Soha take a look at it, because that's what she likes to do (look at me that is :-p). She wants to become a doctor thingy. Not a true "doctor," --- it's like someone who tries to understand the underlying causes of health problems and make long-term changes. I think they're called "ODs." Anyways, she looked at it, made me do stuff with it, and says that I'm building up muscle strength on the outer side of my legs faster than on the inside, due to cycling. As a result, when I flex my quads, I'm pulling on one side of my knee more. Something like that. In conclusion, I just need to get to te gym at somepoint and figure out how I can isolate that muscle group. Actually, maybe I just need to go to the gym in general, because I feel like a pig this week since I haven't worked out.

Speaking of which, there is delicious left-over cake in my fridge. That I will eat tonight. Damnit. I'll share with Justin.

K. Off to go study for the next hour. I suppose if I'm missing class, I should at least be studying.

Yoshi's in San Fran is a Horrible Plan

well. I have two midterms tomorrow. Slight amount of freak-out running through my body, but I think I'll be ok. I'm into "passing" mode, which is comforting. I really hate having two midterms in one day because when you study for one, you pause and think "oh no! I should really be studying for the other one!" And then you start studying for the other one, but the same thought comes up again, and then you switch. Oh well, I think I'll be ok.

I'm heading up to San Fran this weekend, which should be a great time. Going to see the ULCA-Cal game on Saturday with Bobby, Jordan and Justin. Eric's letting us crash on the floor of his studio apartment, which is more than I was hoping for. Although, I'm trying to think of something less than sleeping on the floor. Maybe allowing us to sleep in our car in his parking spot? Maybe. It'll be really fun. Head up there Saturday morning come bacl Sunday night probably.

Yeah, about that.

I'm thinking about staying until Monday. Yes, I know I have class, but I wanted to go see a show at Yoshi's on Monday night. Oh Eli, how the hell do you get me into thinking these things? Pretty much, it would be really good and I should go. That's my reasoning? good? The only problem is getting back -- I'd have to fly, and make it back for Tuesday school at 930am. Ugh. I could do it. I could either leave Monday night or Tueday moening. The flight is only 1.25 hours. Not too bad. It's just that getting back from LAX might be a huge pain in the ass. I don't know. Hmm... it's probably a bad idea, but I still want to do it.

Looking at this situation from a distance now... yeah.. proably bad. I'm not so sure if Justin would like it if I stayed in San Francisco for an extra night without him so that I could go see a concert downtown with a friend of mine that he doesn't know... only to go to Oakland in the middle of the night (hey, I might get a ride) to get on a plane to arrive at LAX in the middle of the night (no ride... bus! Oh god that's a bad idea).

Yeah. It's probably not going to happen.

*sad face*

Goddamn responsibilities to myself and others!

Silly Girl

Haha. silly girl.... silly silly girl.

What are you doing? What are you feeling?

And suddenly, all that I was doing
And all that I had come to do
Was lost within my words
Taken from my lips
By the flicker of a heated heart.




stupid stupid stupid stupid.

You're always like this! Haha. Inside joke...

Impregnation Request

About 4 years ago, someone told me my that my words are very pregnant.

They were. There always seemed to be so much that I wanted to say, but was afraid to say directly. It was just easier most of the time. It was a way for me to express myself without having everybody necessarily catch on.

Now I have the opposite problem.

I can't express what I want to through conversation. Writing, I can do. I don't do all of it here. A lot of it I write in my sketchbook alongside my pictures.

I'm becoming more visual. I need to draw you to show you. I can't sit there and talk about everything. About just anything. I wish that I could, but maybe it's not right.

Today I thought I was silly. I'm trying to push something, and all I'm doing is pushing it away. I want something, but I'm not taking what I have and taking it for what it's worth -- which is the most I've ever experienced. I'm probably really stupid.

Yeah. I'd say that.

I've been trying to figure out why I feel this way. Dissection of thoughts always. I think because it's different it should feel this scary. But I don't understand why i can't make it feel natural, or why it's this difficult. Having all of this inside of me sucks.
Damnit. I just don't get it.

Another Reason to Hate the Hummer

Interesting tid-bit about my day today:

I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work.

Fuckin' shit. It's funny.

It was a young skinny, blonde woman taling on her cell-phone... in a very large black Hummer.

She didn't even stop.

I just hurt my wrist. Was a little shaken up, but ok. Bike's fine too.

Consequently, I was a little late for work.

I called Justin. We joked that we would let the air out of the tires of the next Hummer we saw. I'm not sure if it was a joke. I hate those cars.

Makes you think about what's important.

Chest Lift

I haven't wriTTen anything in a while, have I? I've been writing, just not in my computer. On my computer, rather.

Today, i had two major, possibly life-changing epiphones. We'll see how well they are implemented this weekend, and how well they turn out for me.

Epiphones scared me. They suprise me. They come up during organic chemistry homework. But I suppose epiphones are supposed to have some character to them.

I don't know why I'm up this late. This was a horrible horrible idea.

God, I have so much to get off my chest. I have to lift if all off of me somehow.

... ugh. So busy tomorrow.

School 0930-1215
Commute 1215-1315
Work 1315-1730
Commute 1730-1830
Bike meeting 1900-2000
Climbing 2000-2200
Battlestar 2200-2400

Oh god. If I believed in you I wuld ask you to help me. Haha. Oh these pesky nights.

Sugar Cakes

I am surrounded by parties. It is ridiculous. There is so much bass.

Um, excuse me, yeah... uh, Frat Boy? Could you please tone the bass down a bit... not the whole night or anything, just for a couple hours.... you see, i'm studing molecular biology....

What? Oh, you're too busy giving head to your frat brothers? Fuck you too.

The frat next door hired a "security guard" for its parking lot. And by "security guard" I mean "large aggresive black man in a black jacket" who just screams, "What the fuck you doin' here?! Get the FUCK out a here! Yeah, that's right sugar cakes, get... the... fuck... OUT!"

I wish I had more freshman in my classes so that they would all fail their classes this quarter. Oh yeah, those type of people don't take south-campus classes.

I'm going to take a break and watch the black man yell at people.

Inifinty - 1 = Infinity! WHAT?!

Look: It's not like I'm stalking you. Our random meets are just coincidences! It was just a coincidence that I showed up at Anderson off-duty with candy in my pockets.

Haha.

Also:
On a scale of 1 to infinity, how goofy do you think I will look in these shorts?
Um... infinity minus 1
(tries on shorts. Looks in mirror.)
WRONG ANSWER.... it appears to be infinity.

Did you know hummus has no fat? That is AMAZING!... but does not explain my obsession with it.

A chance phone-call before bed made me day. If only I had been outside for 2 more minutes ...

Continuing with "Hot Pockets"... a comic from R.L Peterson that we all found hilarious. "We all" meaning "Bobby, Justin, and I" which is the best validation possible.



Hot Pockets

Be Back "There"

Bad sleep last night too. I don't get it. I just couldn't fall asleep. No bad dreams though, so I suppose that's progress.

I've been thinking a lot lately. I'm not sure if that's the best thing. Maybe it's causing me to feel as *ugh* as I've been feeling these last few days.

I think I'm starting to move beyond where I need to be at. That's not really all that great. Sometimes, we're meant to be in a place at a certain time in our life, and if we constantly try to seek something more, something different, we never get the privledge of gaining what was to be gained way back "there."

We need to all stop being so nervous.

Hot Pockets

Today I was in a weird mood. God, it just makes me feel so silent and off-key. Maybe cause the weekend was kind of unproductive, and I tend to hate that. Although Friday night was worth the whole weekend. Bobby's party was muy shway.

I'm not really sure what to write. Uh... god, it's been an uneventful weekend.

Hot pockets. Hahaha.

"The Hulk" was a terrible movie. God, I stayed all that time there with Bobby and Adria convinceing me to stay because there was going to be a scene where the Hulk throws a tank. And all the time, they swore that it was going to be the next scene. God, it was horrible.

I watched some Battlestar with Jay and Justin on Saturday morning. That was good. Man, that was intense. Season premiere is this Friday. We still have 9 episodes... roughly 7 hours of tv to watch... before Friday 9pm. Shit. October came a lot faster than we anticipated. Damn. We have a lot to watch.

K. I need to stop giving into peer pressure. It was only for this weekend because I can afford to have some fun. And really, there wasn't all that much I could even get ahead in.

In the Heat of the Night

I feel weird.

Confound this hormones! Progesterone: damn you!

Mango Madness

The night ended with a unsuccessful attempt to open a package of dried mangos.

Man. Overall, today really blowed I would say. Blowed hard. Completely wasted.

All I wanted was a mango.

um

Oh well.
12:19am into Saturday night.
It's as good a time as any for Molecular Biology.

The night ended unexpectantly early, what can I say?