To Keep You Going

Well, my flight got delayed. Instead of taking off right now, I'm preparing for bed. I have to instead be at the airport tomorrow morning at 630am. Blah. Oh well, at least I had the opportunity to spend extra time with Justin, go to dinner, relax a bit, and buy ear plugs. It's apparently very loud in the rainforest.

Here are some cute pics from some time at the pool with Justin, Bobby, and Jordan:

Justin and I

Bobby and Jordan. I really love this picture

This happens a lot.

Holy Shit, Indeed

Holy Shit.

So I'm leaving for Nicaragua in like 6 hours. Holy Shit. I'm leaving for the airport in two hours. I really can't believe this is happening. I'm going to be in PRESTINE RAINFOREST. With ANIMALS ... and and ... nothing else. Just us, and wildlife, and quiet.... no internet, not phones, no communication. It's going to be so excellent.

I'm going to be there for 3 weeks with 21 other people. Hopefully we all make decent roommates.

I have everything I need: rainproof notebook, passport, money, camera #1, camera #2, camera accessories, and binoculars. What else do I need? Maybe bug repellent and sunscreen. Ok. So bug repellent and sunscreen as well.

Yay! I'm off! A dinner of Gushi's, and then that's it! I'm out of here!

Curfuffle

Well, my stupidty shines through -- as bright as ever.
Actually, I guess it's not so much my stupidity as it is something that can't really be described by my range of vocabulary.

The evening did not end well for me. It wasn't very pleasent. I feel asleep until 10pm ... dishes ... then sort of waited for Justin to call me like i ask him to/like he said he would after he was done with work. No call. And I also didn't get any work done since I was tired. It turns out that he called me at 1am asking if I wanted to sleep over -- he thought I was the one that was "supposed to call him." He doesn't like it when I call him at work, so I didn't even bother... I just dort of assumed he was ditching me for work.

But you know what, I'm tired of calling. He can use a phone hopefully.

And hopefully tomorrow will be better. Although, having to be on campus at 830am to garden is a rough way to begin a good day.

9 vs. 11

Question:
Forgotten? ... or Pussy-Whipped by work?

I'm not sure which one would be better.
Daily show! Haven't seen that for awhile.

Lefter

I'll admit it... left-handed people kind of freak me out. It just seems so *uncomfortable*.

freaks.

States of the Capitals

I spend a great deal of my time having conversations in my head. I think those inner talks constitute a very large percentage of my total thoughts. Even school stuff -- I think about it as thought I'm talking to someone. I think I do it to feel prepared. If I have to have a confrontation, or be part of some situation in general, chances are, I've already gone through the procedures in my head. It's always easier the second time around.

The second time is easier around, isn't it? Or how about the third? Learning states and capitals last week took less than 10 minutes rather than the hours I must have invested during elementary school. It's a sinch to spit them all out now.

Some other things don't always tend to be easier. In fact, I'd say that with State and Capitals being the only exception, *everything* just gets more complicated in some shape or form.

Why can't life be as easy as geography?

6 more days in the US.

Pantalones

A week from now I will be in Nicaragua. Crazy shit.
My mom came up yesterday so I could get some rainforest-appropriate clothing for the trip. I found pants in my first try. PANTS. You know how difficult it is for me to find PANTS? Very difficult. Guys have it a lot easier, because your pants actaully are standardized. You can always know the inches in the waist and inseam. You could try a pair of pants on, and at least they will be the right length and circumfrence, even if you don't like the style. Girls need to overcome the first aspect though. Girl pants are not standardized -- I range from an 8-12 depending on the company, style, and if I'm purchasing shorts, a skirt, or pants. It think companies do it because a "10" sounds better than a "31." However, i'm still trying to figure out why the sizes are so arbitrary. I think it has to do with the market niche. At Old Navy, where you see a lot of overweight people shopping, deflates their sizes. I'm a "6" there. FYI: I sure as HELL ain't a six.

Ok. That was a little of a divergence from the original topic, but it seems as though I've run out of time.

She Was a Biker Girl

I bought a bike today.

oof for my bank account.
yay for having a bike again.

It's still at the shop because I still have to put pedals on it, and I won't be doing that until Monday. It's so beautiful. It's a custom Cannonale, silver, with these blue and green stripes. It's so hot. It's so fine. I can't wait to go riding it. I'm going to go on a bike ride on my own on Monday, and then I'll go on one with Justin on Friday. Justin is jealous because it's a better bike than his. Haha. :)

I'll get a picture of me in my UCLA Cycling gear, along with my bike, on Monday.

Yay! My life can move on!

Injured Pride

Even though I have way too much to do for tomorrow... still... at 2:43am.... the temptation to write about the mundane has overcome any academic drive that I had early in the evening.

Today was a very busy day. I got up. Volunteered at the botanical gardens -- pruning some elm and loading branches into a truck. Then class. Then more gardening (weeding this time... avoiding tiny spiders... fyi they *love* wet leaf litter). Then more class. Then a rush to get on the bus to Santa Monica to go to REI to buy rainboots. When I got there, I realized they didn't have the rainboots that were online, so I left and walked to an Army Outlet store a few blocks east that someone at REI had told me about (though warned me that he thought they had moved a couple fo days ago). I found it. They had indeed moved. I should have been more trusting of the REI guy considering he told me that he had *watched* them move out of the location. Then I took the bus to Sports Authority... which unfortunately also did not have rainboots. Wtf. Why does not one carry rainboots? Then I went to work. And got home at 10:30pm.

At work I fell of my bike. I'll admit it. I'm pretty stupid. At least no one saw me. I was trying to put on chapstick (oh those parched lips get me everytime) and had let go of the handlebars to recap the chapstick (I was arrogant ... I really could have done it with one hand). Anyways, I guess all of that no-hands practice didn't really pay off when the push came to shove, because the front wheel wobbled, and "oh shit" went through my mind. The chapstick was still in my hands as I tried to grab the handlebars, but it was too late -- I had already face-planted on the concrete, bike entangling my appendages... chapstick roling on the ground -- uncapped still. I picked myself up, and surveyed the damage. Scratches. Lots of large scratch. Not too much blood. Also, tons of black tire marks. How I got so many in a single fall perplexed me, but I try to question these things. All I know, is that I am capable of superceding the typical amount of sustained injury no matter what the activity. Some may even call it a gift. Sure. My problem was that I was daydreaming, and whenever I day dream, I'm ALWAYS rudely awaken by reality.

I'm still healing from paintball. My bruises still kind of hurt when I touch them, which turns out to be more frequently than one would assume. I end up accidently touching or bumping tender parts very frequently. Probably why my bruises last a long time.

Ok. Back to work I suppose. I have company I need to be joining.

An Exchange

"Hi! You're a CSO! I saw you at Powell the other night!"
"Oh, yeah... um, that was me."
"I'm Jason." [puts out hand]
[shake hands] "Hi, I'm Susanne."
"So, you work there? at Powell?"
"Well, I don't work there a lot. Most CSOs don't enjoy staying up until 2am to work there and kick people out."
"Yeah. And soon Powell with be open 24 hours!"
"Actually, CSOs don't have to stay there overnight. We actually --"
"Hey -- where are you going right now?"
"Um. Here." [At this moment I thank God]
"That's too bad. I was going to walk with you to wherever you were going, but I guess you're already where you're supposed to be."
"Yup. ... Ok. I'm going now."
"See you later!"
"Yup."

I need to start keeping a count of these people.

Smelly Lady

I'm at the Biomed Library computer station, and all of the computers were full when I got here. This old lady got up, so I took her spot. She smelled really bad. I still feel her incredible stench around me. I'm sitting on the chair she sat on, and I swear to God, I can feel her smell that was absorbed by the chair creeping through my pants. Gross.It's kind of like an old cheese.

SubAttack

Fuck. It's like my subconscious is attacking me. In a way, I'm enjoying it. It's a break from reality, you know?

The Pretender

I'm not going to pretend that life isn't frustrating right now.

Oh? Furstrated? Me? Now don't be silly.

I swear to God I've gotten through this day perfectly fine -- as soon as I fall alseep.

Mostly it's her picture, and his words. They make me jealous.

Dr. Monster

I feel asleep at a coffee shop today... by the front window... only to be awaken by a dashing, young doctor/resident pretending to be a monster.

I'm so fucking serious.

Papier

All I can think right now is "OMG, why isn't the girl next to me printing double-sided! Why does she HATE THE ENVIRONMENT?!"

Minds Over Their Matter

I have a lot on my mind. Or more like, a lot of the same thing. Or things.

I feel like I'm constantly striving to understand something that I can never ask questions about; that I'm totally outside of.

And on the one night of the year thus far that I feel like I want to be alone, I can't be. I'm stuck here. And on the one night that I want to either sit here, reflect, and just go to sleep, I'm stuck studying for a test I want to do well on.

Justin asked me tonight if I was sad. I'm not really. I guess I'm just not as happy as I want to be right now, and I just don't want to wait for what I want to hear.

On a different note: I played tennis today, ate some ice cream, and now have crab-and-spinach enchiladas in my refridgerator. It was pretty fun, I have to admit. Even the very serious death threat towards my friend from her neighbor ended up being oddly entertaining. We got a few jokes out of it. I think she might tell the police about that.

Plus, my dreams have been incredibly fucked up. Incredibly. Maybe it was the mushrooms last night.

Deep Pleasure

Tonight I went over Justin's apartment because Jordan wanted me to meet Rachel, a friend of ours who is also going to be one of our flatmates next year. I came over to realize that Jordan had in fact left after getting upset with Bobby and not wanting to be around him. I was kind of given the responsibility of "making her not grumpy."

I didn't really try to address the problem. I just talked to her online like normal, and invited her to go out for ice cream -- just the two of us. So we went to Ralphs, got ice cream (two delicious kinds). I was so romantic. I swear to god, I would make the cutest boyfriend ever. I brought a spoon with us so that after we bought the ice cream we could eat it in the car and on our way to the apartment. I started heading back to the apartment, and she said "Well, I guess I'll go back to the apartment with you..." like it was her decision, not mine. Cute.

It just goes to show you that ice cream solves a lot of problems. When kids are hurt, you give them ice cream (or a popsicle). When you need something to do on a date, you go for ice cream. If you have cake with out ice cream, you put ice cream on it. It's perfect really.

Jordan's happy again, which is all that concerns me. I've been in moods like that before, and it's hard to get out of it and go back to the group without feeling awkward. I'm glad that ice cream could serve as the deeply pleasurable lubricant for the transition.

Next time, use a spoon Bobby. :-)

Nibble This

A squirrel nibbled at my back today while I was having lunch in the botanical gardens. It frightened me at first, so I jumped up, freaking the squirrel out. But afterwards, I found it sort of endearing, and came to realize that I blew my only chance to befriend the animals of the forest.