Lonesome Dove

You know, it's hard being here sometimes; I don't necessarily mean here at UCLA, at college... but just here in the world. It can get pretty lonely. Everyone is running around, trying to live their lives, make it better; well, here everyone is just trying to figure out how to get to that point. I know a lot more people this year (and wow! they actually talk to me when they see me rather than avoid me! haha) and I find myself developing really close relationships with a select few of them -- which is great. Last year I can say I really didn't have that; I'm meeting so many awesome characters with whom I love to hang out with (did I get cooler this year, or did I just get better at giving people the impression that I am?). It's odd though: I think the time I feel the least lonely here are times when I'm by myself (not that I'm one to be lonely around friends). Those moments when I walk alone at night, or am in my room just as now, they are so precious and rejuvenating... I can figure things out. The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself. When I'm alone I can re-evaluate my character and explore my thoughts, just getting to know who I am in all the tangles of life (which in my case are pretty ridiculous at times). Everyone here tries to project this image of certainty in their life, as though they know what they are doing. Ha! yeah right! Where's the fun in that?

This is such an awesome year, it really is. It's amazing to me that it's only going to get better. It's going to be a sad day when I fly out of here.

([I really over-used the whole (parantheses's's's) thing))))])