A Gamble

Kind of sad. I didn't win the lottery today. I really thought I might be able to do it. *sigh* It's sad how conifdent I was. Haha. Oh well -- no one won the jackpot. I still have a chance next week. Ok Susanne, let's not become OCD over it. Haha. Oh, can you imagine it? Life would become so cool. I was going to write "easier" in place of "cool" but I realized that no money in the world could make my life any less complicated. It'll always be this way. I like it. I think I'd go and live in the mediterranean, get a yacht. Oh god, the list could go on, and it's best not to place myself in a state-of-mind in which I'll end up hating my current life. I'll try not to depress myself too much.

I'm buying a book tomorrow. How exciting is that? I haven't actually bought a book for myself in a very long time. Geez: I have to learn to keep up with those things.

Today I met an RA. His name was Ron. He was a talker. And well, we talked for a bit about types of friendship (because he had just gotten off the phone with a friends discussing the matter). And it's interesting, being here, and seeing that so many people just want something from you. To them, you are simply another resource for information about tests, homework, etc. and they call on you for nothing else. Then there are those who are real. The whole process of refining friendships is rather interesting. When you really look at a forming friendship... I don't know, it's special. Each one is different, but along the route to each one you reach a point when you know that that point is the farthest you will ever be friends. And how about ending of friendships? Or weakening of? I find that happening to me with a few people -- and it's rather awkward when you are still being forced to be around them throughout a week.

I've realized that I have by far the best music collection out of the people on the shared musics network of iTunes. I really do.

Tomorrow. I say to myself over and over: Tomorrow will be a good, productive day. Start praying for me.

I'm trying to be ... scratch that.... sound more friendly.

Last song of the CD. Should get ready to sleep.

I just want to dream vividly again, and see the things that I am missing.