Hello... uh, Mrs.... Poon?

I just had to write an email to someone named Bonnie Poon. It was really ackward... and that was using email. What happens if I end up meeting this woman and have to address her in person? I really don't think I could do it with a straight face. Oh my god, that would be so embarrassingly ackward to crack up laughing at her name. Maybe she's a troll and it's a test to cross the "bridge" of her presence. Like, if you laugh she eats your face... and if you don't laugh, she senses that you want to, and she punches you in the throat or something... and then eats your face.

Mrs. Poon.

Haha. I could imagine her to be a very cynical person. The kind that sits on her porch (oh wait, people don't have porches here) in a rocking chair, knitting, hating small children. When she's old (if not already) I wonder if the neighborhood kids will call her Old Poon. Haha. I would.

Actually, I don't think she's married because:
a.) Who would choose that name over their maiden name?
b.) Who wouldn't choose any other name over theirs if their maiden name was "Poon?"
c.) Come on, her fucking last name is "Poon."

Sucks, man. I wonder if she's a dyke. In the niceset way possible. Oh god, she's going to find out that I wrote this. Well, I'm sure if a person was to google "poon," this would be the last thing that would come up. Nice.