Cream My Pie

So yesterday, I worked at Anderson School of Business. Normally, the shift entails sitting at a desk with another CSO for a few hours and goofing off. I mean... working.

But yesterday --- yesterday was different.

I got a letter in my box from dispatch:

"I received a phone call from Ms. Vivian Hollenbeck from the Center for Jewish Studies... she has a special request for UCPD to provide extra security protection to a visiting scholar who is schedule to ... give a lecture in Corn Hall. The speaker is French Philosopher Bernard Henri Levy. According to Ms. Hollenbeck he is an extremely controversial speaker that draws hecklers. His agent requested that he be given a police escort... His agent said that he is afraid that Mr. Levy will be HIT BY A CREAM PIE. Mrs. Hollenbeck did not know is he has been hit by cream pies in the past."

What an amazing man. First of all, kudos to him for making a career as a fucking philosopher. That is AMAZING in itself. How does that even happen? You are not labeled as a "critic" or "writer" but as a "philosopher" and for some reason that makes you way more important and distinguished than anyone else. Second: cream pies? I think they throw those a lot in France. Oh that French humour!

When he arrived, me and two others went to give him full security from the complete lack of hecklers/pies in the area. We completely surrounded him. One in front, one to the side, one trailing behind. We looked around for any "threats." Haha. It was so unecessary to have that many people. We just did it to mock him. We had been thinking before-hand whether we should get another friends to just be in the building "innocently" carrying a pie somewhere, and see what his reaction would be. Or we could have a friend throw one, and one of us could lunge in front of him, and take the hit. We could be heroes. .

I started my bike training today. Haha, I haven't riden a bike in probably a good 5 or 6 years. Isn't that pathetic? It was so much fun to get back on again! I have to do it more often. I learned a lot of cool stuff, and picked up the moves a lot faster than I thought I would considering I was barely used to riding. I learned how to mount and dismount in super-cool ways, go up/down stairs, and jump curbs two different ways (which ended poorly during one of my attempts. I kind of pulled the bike up too early and ended up running into the curb straight on). Oh, and to ride really slowly and turn with a small radius (which are both a lot more difficult that they sound, ok?). I'm hoping to ride again tonight to get some more practice in. Oh man! It's so exciting.

This quarter kicks ass.