I Swear that I Have It this Time

You know, I think I'm really beginning to figure things out. And I know that I constantly say that, so it may seem like it's not true -- but doesn't it make it more valid? I try knew things so that I know what I like and what I dislike... and I'm liking things now. Life means taking a lot of risks and making many sacrifices; unfortunately, we cannot have everything, and we cannot be everyone. We are tied being only ourselves. And really, I find that to be a blessing. Knowing I cannot be anyone else, I feel like I've become more focused on discovered and appreciating who I have been, who I am, and who I dream of becoming. It's been a good feeling overall, although it has brought its share of frustrations.

I know what I care about. I can never have any regrets, because everything up to this point has led me here. I'm fascinated with the fact that a string of seemingly random occurences plants us where we are. You can never say "if" because there are an infinte number of them. It is interesting to think about it though.

There's this saying I came across: "If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle." I liked it.

I've always felt behind my friends in terms of grasping any sense of what I wanted to do or be. I didn't know who I was, so how could I ever even think about such things. Being at UCLA however has given me so much. Hard times, good times -- I couldn't imagine not experiencing all of it.

I love what I'm doing.
I'm doing what I love.

I'm finding my place, and am discovering that it is defined only in myself.