I Had A Dream Last Night...

... and it hit me like a glove.


God, what is UP with these horrible dreams that I've been having? I don't get it. I don't I don't I don't. I Don't WANT to get it. Because I already do, and I don't like it. I don't like having supressed "feelings" or "emotions." I'm not supposed to FEEL godamnit.

A cell phone alarm is going off somewhere and it's annoying me. Oh the irony of the alarm being the one that I have.

It's been bad though, really bad. And today hasn't made me feel any better.

I wish I could talk about it, but it's a little too personal. Well. Hmm.... damnit. It'll just portray insecurities that I don't like to portray because then it makes me seem more insecure than I really am... which is very little. In my dreams, the tiniest fears, the tinest insecurities and emotions, have been blown up to the extreme recently. Consequently, I have not been getting much sleep. Bad. Very bad indeed.

Last night, in my dream, I felt the feeling of my heart tearing in two. I experienced a truly broken heart. God, it was awful.

I'm so sorry.