B L u r

Dreams and reality are blurring together, and recently, I can't say I'm fond of either.

I've been having these horrible dreams. I used to dream about dying a lot, but these aren't like that. And anyways, I completely desensitized myself to my death in my dreams. Instead, I'm running into people, interacting with them. That may not sound horrible, but it really comes down to WHO they are and WHAT the interaction is, doesn't it? I don't like it. So much emotional energy is being pored into my subconscious. Not only is it extremely difficult to emotionally desensitize yourself, but it is simply something I do not want to do. And now, these odd little things are happening in real-life that have significant connection to my dreams. It makes me nervous. It makes me nervous for tonight, when I'm going to go see Cedar Walton. I just want to have a good time, and I will, but on the inside I know I'll be a little anxious. It's no one's fault but my own.

I'm just going to go, and hope that nothing ackward happens, because this is definitely not the time for dreams to come true.