Chem 14D... well, technically a C

I got my Chem midterm back today, so I'm trying to not feel too stupid for the rest of my life. I don't get it.... i study and i study and i study.... I do problems, I go to class... what more do you want from me Hardinger?! WHAT?! I even LIKE your class! I stick up for you when people call you a douche! I LIKE YOU! *sigh* Chemistry has never given me any love... oh those memories of AP Chem that still haunt me to this day.... *shiver*

I went to his office today wanting to talk about what I can do. I had to wait around for a while because he was having Office hours for another class of his, so I just sat there, listened, and waited. And then I left. I left because I was thinking, and as I was thinking I thought about what I expected him to say. And in fact, I thought that it might be along the lines of, "Well, given what you just told me, and all the work that you have been doing, you must be just plain stupid." Except he would say it in a funny tone that would make me laugh, not cry. But really, I do everything; what am I supposed to say to him? For him to say back? It's one of those things where I just need to not analyze it and just recognize that oh well, I have to work even harder.

I'm at the Biomed library right now, and I just realized that I'm sitting at a computer labeled "handicap." Am I supposed to be here? I don't really see any difference between the way this computer is set up in comparison to all of the other computers... why do handicap people get their own computers? I don't think that's far. So, if all of the computers are taken, and a guy in a wheelchair comes by, do I need to give up my seat? This isn't the fucking bus, you know. Equal rights, equal you-wait-your-fucking-turn-godamnit-just-like-everyone-else.

That might just be some of the bitterness inside of my poking out.

I'm so tired. This weekend was incredibly unproductive. I was just exhausted after studying for the last two weeks hardcore. Haha.... look how good that did me... :-P
Maybe I shouldn't study so hard. Less stress, same results. Or at least results that wouldn't be that much worse.

Anyways, I have to do a paper-thing tonight, and I'm tired. I'm just gathering up all of the scientific papers that could help me out. I hate everything. All I want it to watch some cartoons and eat a fucking peach and take a nap.

Let's just hope I don't kill myself too badly today. -_-
Ok, I'm not going to kill myself; I don't want people thinking I'm suicidal.... although if it gave me extra time on tests, I might take that label opportunity.